I’m kind of a flake. If you know me in real life, you’re nodding your head right now even though you aren’t exactly sure why.
Here’s why- I’ve got a lot on my plate.
The specifics don’t matter, but I’m always juggling 987 things and always claiming adulting incompetency.
But when you see me, I’ll act like I’m just golden, and when you read my writing, I’ll act like I’m the most evolved Buddha. I’m always being genuine. Even when I’m faking. So let’s just get that truth out of the way.
That said, with the 987 things on my plate and on my mind, every single one of them has an upside. I don’t mean a trite, irritatingly positive upside; I mean a real actual upside.
1). Our daughter is a handful. She’s sass, she’s strong-willed, and she’s got a steel-trap memory. But she’s beautiful and she’s smart. She’s brave and she’s gentle. She’s kind and she’s funny and she’s like the two of us wrapped into a ball of crazy, boundless energy. And she lights the world with her glow.
2). My husband has a heart. I’m not being snarky. He has a heart that was covered in many Shrek-like layers for a long time. And guys aren’t supposed to have hearts. We say they are, but then we expect them to show up as battle-hardened Warriors. And lose the feelings. But we still talk for hours. We break everything open and take the pieces apart. We spend car rides rearranging the pieces and testing hypotheses. Two strong hearts in a marriage is a clash of the titans. But we do it.
3). My career is on like, a runaway train. I tapped out in August, saying I just can’t anymore. I just couldn’t. But where I am right now, doing the things I’m doing… it is freaking fun. I get to entertain kiddos. I get to read stories with all the voices and hold tiny hearts in my hand. And teach play and use our collective imagination. Why ever do anything else.
4). I couldn’t handle the admission of being out of work for four months, so I started this blog. I needed to still *do.*
And now, I get to write, teach, and perform. And I can’t stop and won’t stop. Because sometimes you have to pull the brakes. And sometimes you have to hop off the train and assess where you’re at.
And then? Hit control, alt, delete; and reboot.