Alright, following the Mom post, I now want to acknowledge my DAD. His birthday is tomorrow. He is turning 176.
My dad is one of those people who has held my hand since I was born, and never let go. He still holds my hand, just now it’s more via text message or by way of filling a plate with strawberries for my daughter when we come over.
My dad has not always agreed with everything I’ve done. I haven’t always appreciated his badgering. He didn’t give me all that much space to breathe growing up, and he basically baits me to bring myself and my daughter over at least four times a week.
He lives for me. That sounds stupid coming from a grown adult, except that, it’s the truth. He knows it and I know it. And then I had my baby girl and he got another small person to smother love all over.
I could sit here and list all the things he’s taught me, but the one he taught me the most is the one he’s the most unaware of.
My dad is a sensitive person. Inside. But he covers it with humor and anger. Because in our society a sensitive male is paddled and railed on. We want to see strength! We want to see a show of force! But no. Not all boys, or men, have that. So it’s my belief that they grow up hiding it. And it looks like a whole slew of other things before others realize; it’s love. It’s kindness and giving and warmth and joy. But they were told their whole lives that that was unacceptable for a boy, so they must show anger. And pride. And all this stupid phony shit.
But those of us who know them, or specifically, him, we see the lamb behind the lion. We laugh at the lion because we know he is a front.
So happy birthday to my dad, the lamb behind the lion. That said, thanks for treating me more like a son and not a daughter; sending me the message that I could be ANYTHING. Read anything. Learn about anything. Do anything, make anything. Overcome anything and beat the crap out of anything that stood in my way.